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Willow Mae

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(pay for passage)

[03 Apr 2013|06:53pm]
Deneb got out last night. I didn't realize it until this morning, at which point I went into a grief-stricken panic and have since cried out my weight in snot and tears. I don't think she's coming back.

Dan is optimistic about it, so I guess that's good that one of us is. I just always knew if she ever escaped, that would be the last we see of her. I'm too exhausted to do anything else but sit and be dead inside.

(pay for passage)

[16 Jan 2013|06:33pm]
I've been avoiding writing a meaningful post for a while now, and I know it needs to happen soon for my own sanity. But this is not that post! This post is instead a request for help with one of my grad classes - if you can take the time to fill out a brief 10-question survey for me before tomorrow (Thursday, 5pm PST) I would greatly appreciate it. If you know any young-un's (16 or younger) who you could rope into this as well that would be fantastic, for the purposes of diversity among results. All comments will be screened for privacy.

Here's the information I need:
1. Gender
2. Age
3. Occupation
4. Level of schooling attained to date
5. Have you known a person or people identified as TAG ("Talented And Gifted", may also be referred to as G/T or other similar acronyms)? What is your relations to that person or those individuals?
6. How would you define the term "gifted"?
7. What is a gifted person like?
8. Are gifted children different from other children? If yes, how?
9. How do you respond when you hear someone referred to as gifted?
10. Do you think schools should provide services for children identified as gifted? Why or why not?

Answers need only be short, "man on the street" type responses.

Thanks in advance to anyone and everyone who can help me out on this.

(4 strawberries |pay for passage)

[15 Sep 2012|09:19pm]
I bought a hula hoop today! 

(4 strawberries |pay for passage)

[14 Jun 2012|09:21pm]
Our stuff finally came today! Now the apartment feels like a living space, instead of just a space we live in. If I pump through it, I think we can be mostly settled in by the weekend (although Saturday is scheduled for a trip up to Portland to visit IKEA and whatever else we can fit in, so that brings us down a day).

Next Friday is orientation, and Monday starts classes. I'll be relieved to get out of the apartment, but there's still a lot to do before everything starts! I have to do a trial run of the buses to see how much time I need to allot to make it to class on time, and I need to call the financial aid department to make sure that I've got all my paperwork in order since I submitted my summer-session FAFSA later than intended.

I'm super nervous and excited about this, I hope this turns out to be a good thing that I'm doing! XD

(1 strawberry |pay for passage)

[08 Jun 2012|01:37pm]
So we're still settling in to the new apartment, and Deneb is very excited by the new wildlife she can watch through the windows. We're set right back against the "woods" (read: wooded area dividing our complex from the neighboring complex) and there is an abundance of squirrels and stray cats that she can watch. She's spent the last few days racing from window to window keeping track of all the goings-on outside.

Well, today she decided to get frisky. She snuck out the front door as I was leaving to drop off some mail. I freaked out - kitty does not have tags or a microchip, and she panics so easily that if she got lost, I know she'd never be found. She is most emphatically not allowed outside without proper precautions.

Which, she has. She spent the entire drive out here in a harness and leash, which she is accustomed to. So I decided to teach her a lesson - no going outside without your harness and leash. So I get her into them, we go out the front door and I close it behind me....and a neighbor goes up the stairs.


Since the front door is closed, she *climbs the door frame* to get as away as possible. Screaming and deep yowling and OH SO UNHAPPY. I'm laughing like a maniac because it's *exactly* what I expected of her. I open the door to let her in and she bolts, but since she's still on a leash she does a backflip and climbs morosely into my arms, shuddering and shoving her head and far into my armpit as it can go.

I take off her leash and harness and deposit her on the air mattress, where she has been hiding under the covers ever since. I gave her some cheese tidbits to show her that "mean ole mommy" isn't so mean and I think she forgives me, but she's not coming out anytime soon.

Lesson learned, poor thing. But at least she hopefully won't be trying to get out again anytime soon.

(1 strawberry |pay for passage)

[17 Apr 2012|01:37am]
So I'm having trouble getting to sleep tonight because I keep going over ways to speak to the Front of House manager about a problem we had with a class registration without going "ARE YOU A FUCKING MORON, WHY ARE YOU A MANAGER?"

She took a class registration on Friday for a class that was scheduled to hold on Monday. On the registration form, it says at the bottom "Guest Services is responsible for making sure all class registrations for classes scheduled within 72 hours are entered into the system." WHICH this case clearly fell under.

Here's how it should have gone down:
She takes the registration.
She checked in the computer, and notices that there are currently no students in this class.
She verifies that the instructor will teach the class for one student (most will only teach for 2 or more).
She completes the registration with the student.
She enters the registration in the computer.
She calls the instructor to inform them of the last-minute registration.

Here's how it actually went down:
She takes the registration.
She puts it in a drawer for me to deal with when I get in next.
Knowing that it won't be until Monday, because I only work M/W/F.
I get in Monday night, the student shows up. There is no record of any registrations in the computer. The instructor has no idea that anyone is in the class, and can't be reached by phone to come in last-minute.
I get to deal with pissed off student, apologizing profusely for the manager's fuck up.
I refund the money, and offer to reschedule for free. Guest is not satisfied.
I offer an additional class of her choice, free of charge. She grudgingly accepts.
We lose a decent chunk of money.
I get to deal with awesome paperwork explaining how this will affect payroll.

I don't want to be rude, but seriously? What do I have to do to make people at Guest Services give half a shit about our Education Department, which is the fucking largest department in the northwest region of the United States? HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING. I only work 20 hours a week, and I'm not in every day to take care of these details. There's a binder up at the front that details ALL of these policies. Which they are supposed to have read. Which they can reference whenever they have questions. Which I continually bookmark and highlight whenever these things recur. And they do. Recur. Over. And. Over.

Part of me goes good riddance, I only have a month left suckers. The other part worries desperately how the department won't burn down when I'm gone. In the meantime, maybe I'll dream up a way to gently say "please stop fucking up and pay attention to what you're doing. Or at least clean up your own mess."

(1 strawberry |pay for passage)

[12 Apr 2012|10:16pm]
For the record, Angsty April is kicking my butt. I've got stuff started for 3 of the prompts and I have to keep stopping because I'm depressing myself too much.

(7 strawberries |pay for passage)

[18 Mar 2012|05:14pm]
The other day I had to kill a dream. It was an exotic dream, and probably a far-fetched one but it was a dream that I was in love with and had been nurturing for the past 5 years. Even when my life changes make achieving this dream difficult I still clung to it as a goalpost, tried to figure out how to still fit it in to my changing timeline. You see, I wanted to visit all the continents before my passport expires in 2015. I had plans for a Peru trip this year (which we canceled because of the move to Oregon, which also SUCKS because Dan told me he planned to propose during the trip and now is going to wait for another surprise time) and then a trip to Australia in 2015. I've been saving for these trips ever since I got back from Scotland - I had a special fund tucked away that I WOULD NOT TOUCH for anything. It made day-to-day living difficult, because with shift cuts at work my paychecks are not as substantial and I've been living on about $50/week for the past few months. But even when money was tight I would still save what I could. I still held on hope that somehow I could make this dream come true.

Well, I got my bill for my kidney stone. And I got my bill for a cavity. And my credit card. And how much this move is going to cost. And that dream is dead. Everything that I've been saving for the past 5 years is gone. And I won't have any income while I'm in school, so there's no way of saving the money again before 2015.

I got home Friday night and sat in the shower and cried. Dan sat awkwardly on the toilet and stroked my back through the shower curtain and tried to make me feel better, but it didn't help. I know killing my travel fund is the only way I can squeak through this time of financial crisis in my life. But it doesn't make losing the dream any easier.

What did help was going to a bonfire at our friends Jeff and Sarah's. The night was gorgeous and the stars were out. They got out the telescope after dinner and we looked at Venus, Mars and Jupiter. It was brilliant. Yes, I geeked a little (or a lot). I imagined Galileo watching the moons of Jupiter through a cruder version of a telescope and felt at small and connected and expansive all at once.

I'm still depressed. I'm trying to do everything I can to stay afloat financially as everything crashes around me. I'm crushed by my student loans and the amount I'll have to take out for this grad program is staggering. I pray that I can get a job when I'm done, and maybe make life a little more manageable. Every time I think about how bad money is right now I come close to tears. I'm sure I'll limp through, but the casualties are breaking my heart.

(7 strawberries |pay for passage)

The long and short of it [27 Feb 2012|09:09pm]
So as many of you might know, I recently applied for a graduate program out in Oregon. I was accepted! I'm going to be moving out there to get my M.Ed and a teaching license for high school Japanese. This has been something I've been wanting to do since I took Japanese in high school a kajillion years ago, and am finally getting to do. The program is 15-months full time, and when I've completed I might stay out in Oregon or I might move back to Minnesota, but I'll have reciprocity in practically every state. I'm very, very excited (and scared) but mostly just excited.

The issue right now is that at the moment, I can't actually afford to move across the country. There's the $1400 fee for breaking our rental lease early, the $600-odd dollars to fly the cat out, renting a trailer or hiring movers, gas prices, and I'm sure things that I've not even thought about yet. Dan's sure we'll come up with something somehow but he's always been more relaxed about money. Myself, I'm panicking. This is where you can come in.

If you have the means (and if you don't I understand!) please consider helping me save for my move! Here's what I've got for you:

For $5, I will write you 500-1000 words of fic. Any verse, any prompts. I'll write something fresh or add an installment of Slumber or Steampunk or any of my old ficathon pieces or really, whatever. Paypal can be sent to my email of willowmae [a.]t demented-faerie [d.0]t net, with prompt of your choice sent either to my email, left in a comment or PM.

For varying prices, you can also check out the selection of things available on my etsy shop. Prices range from $7.50 - $30.00 plus shipping. There are amigurumi dolls, totes, duck-tape purses, wire jewelry, and I've got other things like scarves and miniature gem trees that I haven't gotten pictures of yet. Part of my cleaning process for the move is finishing projects, so there will be many more pieces going up on etsy as I finish them.

If you can't afford to help but you know someone who might be interested in anything in my shop, I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd pass my shop address on to them or help me promote my pieces in any way. I'm cross-posting this to everywhere I frequent, so my apologies if you see this multiple times! The move is happening end of May, so you may see me begging in the streets a few more times between now and then as things become more imminent.

(5 strawberries |pay for passage)

[23 Feb 2012|09:26pm]
Guess who got to spend the night in the ER? Yeah, that would be me.I had sharp pains in my right side and my whole lower back felt stiff and stretched. Pain was coming in waves, after the first one passed I thought I could just take some IB and an icepack and go to bed. Only, then it started again. I couldn't stand, I couldn't breathe. Dan drove me to the hospital at 11:30 and I got dosed up with morphine and an IV. They did a catscan of my belly and everything. Guess what? I gots me a kidney stone! I didn't get back home until 5am.

Of all the things I was panicking it might be (appendicitis, something wrong with an ovary) I think a kidney stone is the most preferable. no surgeries that I can't afford right now or anything, just awful awful pain and more to look forward to when it finally passes. The doctor says on a scale of 1-10 mine's about a 3. I really never want to experience anything more than that.

Also, they told me that it's like giving birth. I never want children. EVER.

At least I only have a short shift at work tomorrow and the weekend off. They told me given the placement it'll probably be 3-5 days, so hopefully I won't have much more to suffer.

(2 strawberries |pay for passage)

[05 Jan 2012|12:41pm]
My heart is pounding so hard right now.
I got all my application materials in the mail, over-nighted to the admissions office and I pray that I really did have everything in order. I'm so nervous and relieved and anxious and now I get to wait two months and then....

my life might drastically change.
I'm so glad to be moving on, and going forward and maybe finally feeling like a grown-up. I'm terrified about leaving my friends and family here, especially since it might be more long-term. I keep drawing on my experience in Scotland as reassurances to myself - YES I can adapt to drastic change YES I can survive in an unknown environment YES I can find a job YES I can find a place to live YES I can make new friends

And blessings on Dan, who doesn't have any of those kind of reassurances to say for himself and is still planning on moving with me, and has faith in me...

I'm just going to collapse for the rest of the day in a wibbly pile of anxious relief (awesome oxymoron) and watch Xena: Warrior Princess until I'm numb.

(3 strawberries |pay for passage)

[09 Dec 2011|09:52pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed I passed

I don't have the scores for the Writing portion yet, but I TOTALLY passed the Reading and Mathematics parts of my PRAXIS I tests.

Now, I wasn't absolutely terrified that I failed or anything, I mean, I'm a pretty smart cookie but there were a number of factors at play that had me nervous.
1) I'm a shitty test-taker when it comes to "fill in the bubble" standardized tests.
2) I generally suck at math.
3) I didn't know what the tests were scored out of, I only knew what I needed to pass - a 175 out of 180 is very different than 175 out of 300.
4) I literally took these tests with only one week of prep, and nearly missed the registration deadline by ONE DAY. I'm such a procrastinator, that alone could have cost me another year of agonizing wait.

I felt all right after the tests, like I probably got a "B" if you were giving it a grade. I felt the tests were much harder than the sample tests I'd been doing all week prior. It made me panic a bit.

Do you know what this means? It means that I can be confident in my application. It means that I'm most likely going to be moving to Oregon this summer, and finally (FINALLY!) moving on towards getting a big-kid job and I won't have to work at JoAnns anymore and I'm going to accrue even MORE student debt but it'll be okay because I can FINALLY FINALLY start doing something I've wanted to do since what feels like forever.

Lots of stresses still ahead, but FUCK YEAH I PASSED MOTHERFUCKERS!

(pay for passage)

[18 Nov 2011|12:53am]
Here's a little secret: the northern lights scare me. On the one hand, I love seeing pictures of them, and I've even seen very faint trails here in MN when they've been strong enough to reach that far, but really they make my imagination go into overdrive. They are amazing, especially when they capture multiple colors. But some part of me looks up and sees a million souls trapped in the ether, or a dangerous gate to another world (even before His Dark Materials came out, but I can totally get behind where Pullman got his ideas) or just SOMETHING that feels too powerful for words. I tear up, I start to shake. I have to turn away. And while part of me really wants to go farther north, and see them when they are really spectacular, part of me fears that I just won't be able to handle it. They scare me.

(2 strawberries |pay for passage)

[16 Nov 2011|09:00pm]

With all the new trailers coming out for various "Snow White" remakes, I am reminded of my absolute favorite version of the tale...which the internet doesn't seem to know ever existed.

There were many things that set this version apart; notably, the "dwarves" were not actually dwarves, they were full-sized men. You got into their cottage via slide (reminded a little of old Peter Pan, actually), the prince was an idiot....and at the end, Snow White runs away with the youngest "dwarf" and the Prince marries the evil queen.

If ANYONE remembers this version or has any idea where I could find it, you would be my hero for forever. The VHS we had it taped on is long gone, and while it was something I watched in the late 80's I don't know if it was earlier than that or whether it was a movie or an episode or what. The only things I've found listed as being done in that era are very much not it. (though the episode of "Faerie Tale Theatre" looked promising to start, it didn't pay off).

Internet, you have failed me.

(3 strawberries |pay for passage)

[10 Nov 2011|04:30pm]
Humorous follow-up to my previous post - I told Dan about my revelation and he gives me the most adorable confused-puppy look "Ok? Words are coming out of your mouth but all I hear is moon-speak."

The next night? He comes to bed - "So I did some research on my lunch hour today, looked up who you were talking about? All those -ites and stuff. There was a lot of information to wade through. Got some recs for fanfic to read, but I'm a little worried about touching those yet. Generally speaking though, I don't think I mind being compared to Kunzite."

SEE?? Only a Kunz would do research on his lunch hour to understand the strange incomprehensible babble that comes from his girlfriend. I love my man, he makes me giggle so hard.

(5 strawberries |pay for passage)

[07 Nov 2011|10:34pm]
[ mood | surprised ]

As I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, I was contemplating SM fanfiction (as I often do) and assessing my favorite stories and how the shitennou are characterized. I still don't feel I've built my own boys, in my stories they are mostly echoes of other people's creations and I struggle all the time with finding the right voice and characterization for them. Like many writers in our fandom, I came from writing the girls first and the boys to pair with them - but I'm not prolific enough to have established the boys as individual entities themselves.

So what I was doing was trying to match up boys I know in real life to the shitennou and determine what characterizations I have personally experienced that could help shape my writing. And I came to a startling revelation, which is what got me out of bed to write this post.

I'm dating a Kunzite.

Me, who has always identified the most with Makoto, whose favorite couple has always been (and remains) Mako/Neph, who roots for auburn-haired brats and aggressive affection find myself in bed with the second most confounding shitennou?! (Zoisite being the one who I struggle with the most).

And now I'm starting to see more of Minako in myself than I ever really had before. Odd how that happens. I'm getting the impression that they might be the next couple that clicks for me.

Anyway, those are my sleepy thoughts. I have the day off tomorrow, and between studying for the Praxis on Saturday and cleaning house, I plan on reworking the next few scenes of Slumber. I still hope to have the first chapter out by Christmas, wish me luck!

(6 strawberries |pay for passage)

[02 Nov 2011|09:17am]
Fuck my finances.
Last night I registered for the Praxis I. HORRAY I'm finally making progress towards this teacher-thing that I want to do. Now I just have to pass - I'm not too concerned about the reading and writing portions, but maths always give me hives and so I'm studying my little heart out trying to prep. I don't do well with standardized testing. Anyway, because I registered so late for the test date (Nov 12, yikes!) I got charged an extra $75 'emergency registration' fee. Grand total, $245. All I can say is I damn well better pass the first time. If all goes well, I'll be moving to Oregon in June. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Of course, after I shell out ridiculous money for my testing, Dan and I are driving to the city for our dance lesson (which we almost forgot about!) and I notice my "check engine" light is on. A few minutes and some horrible grinding noises later, we pull over on the shoulder of one of the busiest highway interchanges in the state with a flat tire. At 9:30 at night, with no lighting. I'm panicking, and bless Dan for knowing how to put on a spare tire - needless to say, we missed our dance lesson. Had to drive with the flashers on all the way to my mechanic (30 minutes away) and then walk to my mother's because she wasn't answering her phone (only another 10 minutes) wake her up and beg her to drive us home again. So while it's nice I get another day off of work today, it's not the circumstances I would have liked it to be under. I'm waiting for a call from the mechanic to tell me what the damage is, and I don't get paid til next Friday so I'll have to pull from my Peru fund. This does not make me happy.

What does make me happy though is our Halloween costumes - we were totally the rockin-est people at the party we went to.

We were up late Sunday finishing it, and the cat really wants the katamari for her own plaything, but it was fantastic <3 Hope everyone else's Halloween was as good!

(pay for passage)

[15 Sep 2011|01:31pm]
Fandom geek moment but I just caught up on Doctor Who and I love love LOVE the Amy/Rory dynamic. Have your man and the Doctor too. Broments everywhere. Rory is by far the greatest companion to be on the new Who. Just makes me so happy!

(2 strawberries |pay for passage)

[08 Sep 2011|10:46am]
Last night I was having vivid Mako/Neph dreams, in which I was Mako and was getting increasingly pissed at my best friend Neph who was being obtuse when it came to hinting that I was in love with him. He was always talking about his sexperiences with my other friends (who were not the other scouts, just dorm buddies). I threw a handful of spoons at him.

I also had a dream that Dan and I got married, but my mom missed the wedding because she forgot to save herself an invitation when she was helping make them. I was super pissed at her because she was supposed to give me away, and we had to get married AGAIN the next day so that she could make it. I didn't like to have to rent things for two days because it was so expensive, so I got my fairy godmother to deck me out Cinderella style - I even had the pumpkin coach, but it was more stylish. I'll be damned if I didn't get my fairytale wedding.

Another dream I had last night involved driving with my best friend Sarah from elementary school - we were going to some sort of debutant ball down south so we were dressed in these gorgeous white dresses full of sequins and frills...we were told not to go because there were bad storms happening but it looked like they had stopped so we ignored the advice. They had stopped - literally. All along the rode lightning was mid-strike and I was wishing I had a camera because you could witness the buildup and the way it jumped from sources...there was one where it had struck a tree directly and was frozen mid explosion/blaze. And then there were the storm tornadoes. They crackled and sparkled and were also full of ice? because they were clean white, not dirt-dirty. They were frozen too. Except when we neared the banquet hall where we were supposed to be, there were 5 all together that were still active. I freaked out (because no one in their right mind wants to be that close to a tornado, no matter how pretty) and screamed at Sarah to drive away as fast as she could. Other debutantes were floating around giggling about how the excessive winds made their gorgeous dresses flutter.

The final element of one of my dreams involved a giant shark in a tank just big enough to fit it, but not let it swim around. We had accidentally come to the marina for whatever reason but the place was run by the mafia and they kept the shark to discipline people. We were trying to hide as it was feeding time and they put a walrus in the tank. I didn't watch the battle, but we hurried out as quick as we could sneak away as the owner talked about putting problem people next to the shark tank.

(5 strawberries |pay for passage)

[21 Aug 2011|08:50pm]
I am making a transportation CD mix for my drive down to Chicago. I need help finding songs that revolve around driving, flying, boating, WHATEVER as long as the focus of the song is about travel or some sort of transportation. My current list is as follows:

Drive my Car - The Beatles
Come On N' Ride It! - Quad City DJs
Woke Up in a Car - Something Corporate
Leaving on a Jet Plane - John Denver
Stick Shifts & Safety Belts - Cake
On a Boat -- The Lonely Island
Middle of Nowhere - Hanson

I'm taking any suggestions!
Thanks <3

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